How long have you been coming to H2O? I have been a part of H2o Church since 2001 - we moved here from Austin TX where we were involved with campus ministry at the University of Texas since 1990.
What do you like to do for fun? Aside from the many, many hours I spend playing tennis which is my absolute love, I also love to watch Kara perform in color guard & Julia cheer. That about fills up my time for fun!
What's an interesting fact about you? An interesting fact about me is that from 1973-1975 my parents were in the Peace Corps & we lived in Colombia, South America. We were the last family to be admitted into the Peace Corps.
On the day that you are reading this, I am turning 49 years old. The last year of my 40's - wow - a little hard to swallow, and yet I recognize the experience & understanding of life that I have gained after so many seasons. From my pre-Christ years, full of parties & craziness, to singlehood and the longing to be married, to a couple years of married with no kids to 3 little kids within 5 years. And now, I am moving into the last years of having those kids at home with us realizing that our job of laying the foundation is perhaps over. Now, we watch & pray!
And as I approach those years I realize that I also have some expectations of what those years are supposed to look like - & like most expectations, they are never quite what you expect :-)
Having been in support based ministry all our married life I knew we would never be financially rich. Through the blessing of family & friends we have a wonderful home, 3 working cars & plenty of opportunities to enjoy life. But over the past year our salary has dropped over $12,000, our savings is mostly depleted & it seems like everything costs more. I feel like we are going backwards - & I am faced with the realization that my expectations of where I wanted us to be financially as we enter our 50's is far different than where we really are. And that's been tough for me.
And tougher is that I live in a community surrounded by women who are not in the same place I am financially. I recently visited a good friend's home where she had remodeled her master bedroom closet. In it was a gorgeous chandelier & marble topped drawered island for undergarments in a room that is bigger than my children's rooms - wow! And my desire to have the money for those things peaked!
My battle is definitely not against flesh & blood but against the longing for my years headed toward empty nesting would be financially secure. That has been my hope, my longing, my expectation....and yet, it may not be my reality. And how scary is that to me! You know, the time of life where couples travel, remodel, visit adult children & grandchildren, give more freely...those have been my dreams of our future. And how will I respond if it's not?
Will I embrace the life God has chosen for me...or will I become cynical & resentful & jealous? I don't know - but I do know that I have to fight every single day to have God's mind about it. To live by faith, to trust, & to be creative. And every now & then God shows up to remind me that He's got it under control - and I appreciate that cause I'm not hard-headed, just forgetful. :-)
So, maybe my prayer requests seem obvious. Pray that, by some miracle, the money that pays Steve's salary increases. That the odd jobs I encounter to help contribute to the budget keep showing up. That Steve's pursuit of his Master's degree in Counseling will somehow provide an opportunity for increased income. But mostly pray that if these things don't happen that I will be okay with that.
3 comments:
Dawn,
I too struggle with the same thoughts, and the same desires, but my profession offers me the opportunity to see others that are dealing with such significant life struggles with challenges in health and wellness that I hope never to face. Each day that God gives us here with our families, rich or poor, brings such blessing.
When you think about it, your really don't need a marble topped dresser or a closet as big as the kid's rooms, but what is the most priceless is the smile on your girls faces when you walk in a room, the hug that you get from Steve when you most need it, and the blessing of sustanance, no matter how meager, health and true love.
I am with you, and will walk this road and uphold you to the best of my ability!
Patti
Dawn -
I appreciate your heartfelt openness about the struggles you are facing now. I've watched you as your children have grown and realized that even though I think I'm far behind, I will be in that same place before I know it. And yes, it's another place to deal with our expectations of what we think something should look like. I could understand the heartache of where you live, since I feel that sometimes too when I visit other friend's houses. It seems us women are constantly finding ways to compare ourselves. =) Thanks for your friendship and for blazing a trail for us to follow. =)
Love, Tracy =)
p.s. happy birthday again!
Dawn,
You have so many accomplishments and treasures that are not of this earth that I really envy you - even in your financial struggles!
For me, it's been hard to balance planning life with living it. Even with financial goals met, Andrew and I never have a full sense of security. God owns all "our" stuff, and you never know what His plans are - He can give and take it as He pleases. All we can do is trust Him and keep trying our best with what we're given.
God challenges us to trust Him with our finances, and in Malachi 3:10 to test his faithfulness by tithing. This encouraged me to tithe 10% of my income when I was in a lot of debt as a single woman and trust that God would free me of it someday - and He was faithful. I always look back to that time fondly even though it was scary, exhausting, and challenging because God was right there with me.
When the future is unclear, He often has ways of providing that are not expected. His mysterious plans are better than ours ever could be. He gives us times of uncertainty in order to bond us closer to Him as we depend on Him. The lesson with the Parable of the Talents is to be a good steward - do the best with what you are given, whenever you're given it. You and Steve have worked hard at this, and there WILL BE a reward!
I'll be praying that He provides for your needs and thank Him for all of your treasures - they beat marble any day!
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