How long have you been coming to H2O? I have been attending H2O for approx 3.5 years.
What do you like to do for fun? I like to say that I’m a gamer…a board gamer. I enjoy spending time with my friends and being outdoors.
What’s an interesting fact about you? My friends all think it’s very interesting that I don’t like my shins to be touched. That includes legs and arms…Yes, you do in fact have an arm shin.
I feel like God just clobbered me with a ton of stressful things to bring me back to him. Update from last blog, I did get a big girl job with GCM, actually. Woo Hoo! I’m happy to report that I’m the new Missionary Resources Assistant for GCM. That being said, switching to a new job with all new surroundings and tons of new stuff to learn is stressful in itself. Financial times have been tough in the transition as well, just getting adjusted to a new system. In my previous job I was accustomed to being paid out every day because it was a tipped position, with this new job I get paid once a month. It’s a new experience for me and the transition has been tough. I’ve been working Saturdays at my old job to help me make it through the first few months and have only had Sundays off for a little over two months now. My brother is a Marine and was deployed to Afghanistan. Several of my good friends are going through some tough times that really affect me and my heart. A new relationship that had been going great and I was really excited about suddenly hit a wall and got tough. It seemed like as the circumstances built up it just got a little more stressful with each addition, but I was doing okay (key word okay) handling it on my own… until about a week ago, I broke. I sat in my mentor’s living room and just cried and poured out everything that I was stressed about because there was so much all together that it felt like a whirlwind in my head. I seriously felt like I was drowning in a sea of stress and confusion.
Since that day…I have come to realize that God has been using all of those things to pursue me. I’m so STUBBORN, I want to carry it all on my own. I have had to loosen the grip I have on controlling my life and just give it to God. I think this may be the first time I’ve actually done it. I’ve heard the verses in the bible thousands of times about putting your worries in God, but have always struggled with this. I am 99.67% sure that I will continue to struggle with this in the future, but now I know how it feels to be washed over with peace that is so calming. It is such a relieving feeling. This Saturday is my last Saturday on the schedule at my old job, I’m so looking forward to actually having two days off a week. God has a plan for my brother, and I pray that he remains safe and I just have to trust God’s plan for him. After battling out my feelings about the new relationship with God and seeking counsel through friends, I spoke up about my feelings. The conversation went well, there’s a ton of respect for each other involved. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I feel at peace with waiting on God to reveal what the future holds, even if it’s not what I’m necessarily hoping for. And surprisingly enough, I’m excited to make financial sacrifices for God.
What I’m thankful for…I cannot express in words the amount of love I have for the support system God has provided me with. My friends have been so great through this time, listening to me ramble on and on about all these feelings that I don’t really understand, and helping me muddle through a mess of thoughts. They’re so patient and supportive. I’m also really thankful that God is so persistent in pursuing me. He just waits and pushes a little harder until I finally get it. I feel extremely loved and wanted in that.
Verses:
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galations 6:9
“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you” -Psalm 55:22
Prayer Requests:
-That my brother, and his unit, stay safe in Afghanistan.
-That I keep my focus on God and trust his plan for my life, even during the hard times.
3 comments:
Hey Stephanie! Love that verse in Galatians about not growing weary in doing good. It's so applicable in many of life's tough situations. Thanks for encouraging me to bring my heart before God.
so true! i feel like i do the same thing, try to carry all my anxieties on my own, try to "solve my own problems" without letting anyone in, until it's overwhelming. thank you for your honesty.
Praying for you Stephanie! I know it is hard when God allows things to happen in your life that bring you to your knees, so that He can pursue a deeper relationship with you.
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