September 13 - Allison Poorman

How long have you been coming to H20? We have been coming to H2O for 8 1/2 years.

What do you like to do for fun? I like to sleep! :o) I also like to exercise, sew, scrapbook, spend time with Jim & girl friends, golf, get pedicures & shop.

What's an interesting fact about you? I have seriously high arches on my feet just like my mom :o)

I thought I'd start out by listing a lot of verses that I have clung to and wrestled with during my 10 year journey of hope and hope deferred. Some of these verses have been really difficult for me in the midst of my pain and grieving the loss of 5 babies due to miscarriages and God's answer being "no or wait" and now further along the road in my journey these verses have new meaning and hope in my life.... Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. - Ps 37:4

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. - Prov 16:3

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him. - Lamentations 3:25

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory. - Eph 3:20-21

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. - Phil 4:6

For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. - Ps 107:9

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. - Phil 4:7

The Lord your God is with you....He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. - Zeph 3:17

Until now, you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. - John 16:24 (NKJV)

When we started our adoption process in May of last year I wanted to find a journal to record thoughts and feelings as we entered this journey. The journal that I found had Ps 37:4 on the front cover "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart." I have struggled with that verse over the years thinking....this isn't true...I have delighted in the Lord and He hasn't given me the desires of my heart. So, I decided that this was the perfect journal for my journey. God was pursuing my heart and doing lots of internal healing in me that I am so thankful for. He has been so patient with me, not growing tired of my questions and doubts.

Those of you who know my story know that I have wrestled with God and with the belief that I can do a better job protecting my heart than He can. I have struggled with giving God control and believing that He was trustworthy.

The verse in John "Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." brought tears to my eyes just the other day. I was reminded all too well of my past struggles to ask, believe, hope and trust in God. I remembered at one of my lowest points feeling like I wouldn't ask God for anything ever again because it was too painful to put myself out there and really allow my self to be vulnerable. I felt like I would just have a relationship with God and allow Him to do whatever He wanted and I would just go with the flow. This sounded like a good plan but bottom line was that I was still in control. I wasn't yielding my heart to God. I was subtly controlling my heart and desires so that I could minimize the pain and hurt.

God has been so faithful to bring me through times of pain, anger, hurt, disappointment and mistrust. He has been faithful to pursue my heart and allow me to struggle in my journey and in the end come out with a true conviction that He is good, that His will is perfect, that He loves me and that He promises to be with me through it all. I love this quote by Oswald Chambers...

FAITH IS DELIBERATE CONFIDENCE IN THE CHARACTER OF GOD WHOSE WAYS YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND AT THE TIME.

I want to fill you all in on what God has done in my journey of hope over the last 3 months. Corinne Elianna Poorman is here! It's such a long complicated story and it isn't finalized yet...we got a call from the adoption agency on Jun 7th and they said they had a very complicated situation that involved a baby girl who was born at 24 weeks 6 days and was 1lb 15ozs. She was in the NICU at Florida Hospital and was stable, but had a long road ahead of her. They said the first 7 - 10 days would be very difficult for her. There are other circumstances that make it complicated as well, but the agency kept coming back to our family and feeling like our family was the right match for the special baby girl.

So...we met Haley, the birth mom on June 8th and met sweet baby Corinne on my 40th birthday June 9th. She has had a long hard road but is nothing short of a miracle. She spent 67 days in the NICU where I got to see her every night from 8pm - 12:30am. We were amazed when they said that she would be released from the hospital so soon and we brought her home a month ago on Aug 12th weighing 4lbs 4ozs! She still has 1 week from today till her due date, Sept 20th, which is hard to believe. She weighs 6lbs 8ozs now and is doing really well.

We are moving forward with adoption plans but nothing can be finalized till after her tests on Oct 6th. She is currently on Medicaid with the agency as her guardian which is such a huge blessing because of all the hospital bills and we need to wait till most of those big tests are done so Medicaid will cover those.

We would love your prayers for her health. She is doing so great, but she still has hurdles to overcome. We are so attached and are really hoping that God's will for her life is to be with our family and be the little girl we have hoped and dreamed about for so long. We are moving forward courageously knowing that if God's will is for Corinne to be with a different family, that He will give us the strength to get through. We are enjoying every day that God gives us with Corinne.

Please pray that God would continue to give me the strength to keep my hands open to His will and leading in His beautiful love story that He is writing. That I would yield my desire to control and protect my heart, and that I would trust in His plan and that ultimately I can say, not my will but His will be done.