What is a hobby that you enjoy?
I like to cook and bake. I like to try new recipes and experiment on my husband and victims, uh, I mean guests. J I like to host parties and have theme nights!
Devotional:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees in the garden. (Genesis 3:8)
This verse came to my mind the other day during my walk/run. I’m in training for a 5K in a month. It was 4:45 AM and I was jogging in the confines of my neighborhood in the pre-dawn shadows. Though my physical safety while out that early was vulnerable, I was safe from the unwelcome and cruel comments and glances from strangers. You see, I’m not quite 5K material yet.
So I choose to hide in the cloak of darkness.
And even though I’ve been an active member of H2O for 10 years, I’m often asked on Sunday if it’s my first time at the church. And people I’ve met before frequently introduce themselves to me as if they’ve never seen me.
I take no offense from their errors. You see, I’ve created a world to live in that brings me anonymity. Being present, but not really being seen or known. So let me (re)introduce myself….
“Hi. My name is Carol and I like to hide.”
I hide by keeping things shallow in conversations. I hide by attending my life group but not really sharing all that I’m going through. I hide by allowing the focus to be on my husband and not on myself. I hide at work behind my efficiency and productivity. I don’t always express what I’m thinking and I shrink back from the limelight. I have even hid behind my service at H2O, picking service opportunities that would keep me unexposed and in the shadows.
I think I finally started to realize my predicament at the Radiant Encounter (retreat) this past April. The mingle/social times were absolute torture for me because I didn’t know many people in the room. I was overwhelmed by the sea of unfamiliar women’s faces and the familiar ones who were already in conversation. So I hid.
Literally.
In. The. Kitchen.
I was the person responsible for making the coffee so I had an “excuse” to be there. But even when I didn’t need to make coffee, alone in the kitchen was where I felt most comfortable.
Which leads me to my next verse…
This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. (I John 1:5)
I realize that this verse is addressing sin primarily, but I’ve also found comfort in it when I think about my tendency to isolate. God doesn’t want us living in the shadows. He wants us in the light, fully alive and ourselves.
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)
I have power in Jesus Christ to overcome the things that hinder me. The obstacles and lies that the enemy, the Devil, flings my way are demolished by Christ!!! So I’ve taken some steps to come out of the shadows, no matter how painful they may be.
I’m doing my run/walks in the daylight.
I’m becoming more vulnerable with those in my life.
I’m volunteering in ministries at H2O that will force me to be with people (Prayer and Radiant).
God is even using my boss, who’s not a Christ Follower yet, to prompt me to talk in and lead meetings. (UGH.) J
Like Adam and Eve when they first sinned in the garden and were exposed before God, I think we all hide in our own little ways. Some more than others for sure. You know, I honestly thought I was the only one until I started mentioning this to some friends. And the response I got was that they hide too.
So take some time this week to see if you’ve been hiding. Is it behind your work? School? Husband? Kids? Accomplishments? Outward appearance? And though I didn’t address it here, why do you hide? What would be different in your life if you didn’t hide?
And for those of you who aren’t cursed with hiding, ask the Lord to show you who is. Love them patiently, yet also push them if needed! Gently, folks. Gently.
The Lord desires us to live in freedom and light. I think there’s great power in women who are linked together by openness, honesty and courage.
J
Prayer Requests:
That I be light at work. It’s a pressure-filled time right now and I can get a bad attitude pretty quickly. Pray that I overcome the adversity with grace and humility. Pray also for the salvation of my coworkers.
6 comments:
Carol, thank you so much for this post. I think it's something most people can identify with. Everyone hides from something. I really admire your courage! Instead of hiding, you stepped out into the blogosphere and just spilled your heart with all of us. I'm so glad I know this about you now, and you can count on me to try to help in bringing you out of your shell! I've just loved getting to know you and spending time with you this year, and I look forward to seeing how much you grow "out of the shadows." Thanks for being brave and sharing!
Carol, thank you for your honesty. I share a lot of the same feelings of being overlooked and wanting to hide myself (especially when exercising!)... As a 10 year veteran of this church, I get frustrated when people initiate with me as if they're greeting a visitor. I know it's my fault for not getting more involved with others intentionally - this is hard to do for an introvert. God does not expect all of us to be bubbly, gregarious, and bold with our relationships with friends, family, and coworkers, but He does desire for us to be intentional in cultivating them. There is no shame in being an introvert, but you've highlighted the fine line between being one and being hidden in the shadows. I realize I am hiding a bit behind the new baby and am challenging myself to get out more. So, thanks again for sharing your heart and challenging me to examine myself. =)
Carol, you are an awesome woman of God, a gentle soul and you have to see it as you must share your gifts as God wants you to. How can that happen in hiding? I admire your courage to face it and make the change. You have done the hardest thing already! Smooth sailing from here. ( with prayer of course ) I really want us to get together. LOVE YOU! Mitzy
Carol, I'm moved to tears. You're beautiful heart on display for all of us to see!!!! God is so honored by your courage and vulnerability. Thanks for trusting all of us with your honest feelings.
I have a strong feeling that God is up to something here and He's got big plans for you out here in the light!!!!!
Thanks for allowing Him to use you. His strength is shown so powerfully in your weakness. Love you!
Carol, what you've shared was so poignant, I am going to re-read and digest what you've shared.
I've definitely felt the same way. I remember going into the kitchen to hide during the encounter and you were there! LOL! My plan backfired, but so glad it did.
I'll see you at the next Radiant Girlz Nite... In. The. Kitchen. :)
Carol - I so appreciate you for who you are. but I love that you are becoming bolder about stepping out and sharing your heart, even when it's uncomfortable. You know that I struggle with hiding too, and it's encouraging for me to know that someone else is going through this struggle of trying to live fully in the light and let her heart show to others. Thanks friend!
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