Too Much credit, too much blame.
That's the thinking trap that many of us parents can fall into. We look at our children when they behave well, do acts of kindness, make right choices and say to ourselves "Good thing I raised them right; good thing I applied all those godly principles I read about; good parenting does pay off".
And then when things go awry & the kids get in a fight, fail a class, call someone a bitch...out loud, we ask ourselves "What did I do wrong? Did I not teach them differently? Did I not exemplify the right things?"
At least that's the trap I fall into. And the burden of that thinking weighs heavily. As if I didn't have enough of my own weaknesses to carry around; now I choose to carry around the weaknesses of my children. I'll never walk tall with that much weight.
As a mother of 3 teenagers I have plenty of things to look at & decide which of those am I responsible for, and which I am not. And that's not easy for me who tends to feel responsiblity for everything. But God is clarifying that with me all the time.
Let's keep it simple, God says to me. You are responsible Dawn for loving Me and seeking ME first. Okay. I can do that.
You are responsible for loving your husband and nurturing that relationship above any human relationship. Okay. I can do that too.
And if you need some tasks to be responsible for, then go ahead & be responsible for keeping the kids in clean clothes, and fed well. Okay. Sometimes I do that.
But you are NOT responsible for the words that come out of their mouth. I AM. Really?
You are NOT responsible for their relationship with ME. I AM. Are you sure?
You are NOT responsible for their future, their choices, their love life, their work ethic, their reputation. I AM. Seriously?
Dawn, you did the most important thing you could do - introduce them to ME. And now, they are Mine to mold, shape, speak to, and woo. Let ME do my work and stop taking too much credit and too much blame.
And honestly, my dear friends, that brings a huge breath of relief to my life. Mind you, I sometimes forget and try to take back the job God has released me of. And boy do I feel that weight - and what sweet freedom I feel when I love God, love Steve & just do the laundry and grocery shopping remembering that they are God's!