I actually thought twice about writing this devotional tonight, because it has been a yukky day, filled with useless emotion and frustration. But, I guess that really is the best time to share my heart and my faith. I am Patti Cordell, and have been attending H20 for about 4 years. My daughter brought me to H20 when she was baptized, it has become my church home, and is the first church I have been in since I married that has my heart. I have been married to my best friend, Curt, for the last 31 years. We have two adult children, Ryan, age 22 and Michelle, age 20. Ryan still lives at home, working full time and going to college and Michelle is in Connecticut, attending the University of Hartford on a volleyball scholarship. They are delightful young adults and bring a great deal of joy to our lives.
I am a nurse, and have worked for Florida Hospital for 30 years, in leadership roles for the last 27. I was a House Supervisor for over 15 years, the best job I have ever had, and then about 5 years ago, I moved into my boss’s job. It is that job that continually tests my perseverance and my faith. In the last 5 years, I have had 5 bosses, headed up 3 different departments, and had my job role changed several times. I have recently experienced yet another change in leadership, and responsibilities. It feels much like a roller coaster ride, and the goals and targets keep moving. I can provide whatever is needed if I know what the expectations are, but when they keep changing, I feel uncertain, and lack confidence in my daily functions. Today, it all hit me, I felt beaten and de-valued, and I let the emotion take over, broke down and cried. It is so rare that I let the world get the best of me!
Nursing is not just my job, it is my profession, my personality, and my true calling. God called me to be a nurse when I was very young, and I fully believe he has led my career path every step of the way. If I have fought God’s will in any aspect of my life, it has not been in my career, I have given that part of me to Him completely. He has always put me in the right place at the right time. And now I wait, for some sign, some indication that His plan is unfolding again. I spend hours in prayer, I feel His hand on me, and wait for direction and a sense of peace.
And when I push the emotion aside and allow myself to focus on what really matters, I remember that as much of a servant leader as I am in this world, I am called to serve the One who is not of this world. All that I do and all that I am is in Him and for Him.
It is so difficult to praise Him when we are experiencing the challenges this life brings and I am reminded of words to the song by Mercy Me (the best band ever!):
Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing
Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing
I can remain steady and confident knowing that God’s hand is painting my story, each challenge is a lesson and each day is a gift of grace. And I can praise Him for each leg of this journey, resting in the strength and comfort He so freely provides.
I will keep singing!
Prayer requests:
A sense of peace in submitting to His will and His plan.
The strength to remain steadfast in faith and continue to walk this career path He has laid out for me.